http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GNzBFnUAdo
Editor's note: This link was forwarded to me, just in case you are questioning the explicit screen-shots and suggestive titles on the related links posted next to it. :)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Our answer to Borat...(Be forewarned - This is R rated)
Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius .........Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ............................ you
go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... ,' Best in Singapore , JB, some say Batam, and now, the whole world also ah!!!
More about Phua Chu Kang at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phua_Chu_Kang and on YouTube.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Dilbert's one liners
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone.
Monday, November 10, 2008
RECIPE: Serena's Mochi Recipe
Ingredients
* 1 1/2 cups mochiko (glutinous rice flour)
* 3/4 cup white sugar
* 1 1/2 cups water
* Green OR Red Food coloring (a few drops-up to you)
* 2 drops distilled white vinegar
* 1/2 cup potato starch
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 can of Red Bean paste (buy the Korean brand taste better. Don’t get those from China-not very good)
Directions
1. In a medium bowl, mix together the mochiko, sugar, coloring and water until well blended. Mix in the 2 drops of vinegar to soften. Pour into a microwave-safe dish, and loosely cover with plastic. Microwave for 8 to 10 minutes on HIGH (sometimes I used 3 mins medium, 6 mins High depending on your microvawe). Remove, and let cool until cool enough to handle.
2. Turn the mochi out onto the plastic, and cut into pieces using a plastic or wooden knife. Metal knives tend to stick too much. The pieces need to be big enough to wrap red bean paste (can use ground peanuts mixed with sugar too).
3. Put some potato starch on your hands then flattens the mochi and start wrapping red bean paste and roll the mochi until round. If too sticky put a bit more potato starch.
* 1 1/2 cups mochiko (glutinous rice flour)
* 3/4 cup white sugar
* 1 1/2 cups water
* Green OR Red Food coloring (a few drops-up to you)
* 2 drops distilled white vinegar
* 1/2 cup potato starch
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 can of Red Bean paste (buy the Korean brand taste better. Don’t get those from China-not very good)
Directions
1. In a medium bowl, mix together the mochiko, sugar, coloring and water until well blended. Mix in the 2 drops of vinegar to soften. Pour into a microwave-safe dish, and loosely cover with plastic. Microwave for 8 to 10 minutes on HIGH (sometimes I used 3 mins medium, 6 mins High depending on your microvawe). Remove, and let cool until cool enough to handle.
2. Turn the mochi out onto the plastic, and cut into pieces using a plastic or wooden knife. Metal knives tend to stick too much. The pieces need to be big enough to wrap red bean paste (can use ground peanuts mixed with sugar too).
3. Put some potato starch on your hands then flattens the mochi and start wrapping red bean paste and roll the mochi until round. If too sticky put a bit more potato starch.
RECIPE: Foolproof (and YUMMY!) Beef Rendang
5 lbs beef roast cut into 1 in cube.
In a blender, blend the following ingredients.
4 stalk of lemon grass – Use only the white parts.
10 dried chilies
10 fresh chilies (can subs with dried)
2 in blue ginger
10 shallots
In a heavy pot add the above ingredients, and
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tsp anise powder
2 cinnamon sticks
5 cardamon pods
2 star anise
5 asam jawa (can subs with lemon or lime juice)
2 cans of coconut milk (use just the cream; otherwise it will take longer time for the liquid to reduce)
2 tbs brown or palm sugar
2 pandan leaves tied into a knot
S&P to taste
Simmer until almost dry (about 1 - 1 1/2 hrs)
Add ½ c of desiccated coconut (kerisik).
Add 3 thinly sliced kaffir lime leaves (optional)
Adjust salt as needed here.
Voila! You are done.
In a blender, blend the following ingredients.
4 stalk of lemon grass – Use only the white parts.
10 dried chilies
10 fresh chilies (can subs with dried)
2 in blue ginger
10 shallots
In a heavy pot add the above ingredients, and
2 tsp cumin powder
2 tsp anise powder
2 cinnamon sticks
5 cardamon pods
2 star anise
5 asam jawa (can subs with lemon or lime juice)
2 cans of coconut milk (use just the cream; otherwise it will take longer time for the liquid to reduce)
2 tbs brown or palm sugar
2 pandan leaves tied into a knot
S&P to taste
Simmer until almost dry (about 1 - 1 1/2 hrs)
Add ½ c of desiccated coconut (kerisik).
Add 3 thinly sliced kaffir lime leaves (optional)
Adjust salt as needed here.
Voila! You are done.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Funny Slogans
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap............no strings attached.
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. (they will look for you..)
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses...
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.
Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan:
Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough
Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother !
Guitar, for sale....... Cheap............no strings attached.
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. (they will look for you..)
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses...
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick..
Or when your Son starts To wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions.
Getting Caught
Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit:
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan:
Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough
Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:
Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here.
She May Be Your Grandmother !
The Best Religion
There was once a king who ruled over his subjects well. All his people were happy and his kingdom prospered. One day the King called all the religious heads of his land. Some were well renowned and well versed in Vedas and Puranas and some in the Bible, and yet others in the Koran and other scriptures. When all were gathered together, the King asked, "Oh holy ones! Today, at the request of my subjects, I wish to declare one particular religion as the religion of my land. I leave it to you O learned ones, to decide amongst yourself and to arrive at a unanimous decision as to which religion deserves royal patronage. However I feel only that religion should be chosen whose teachings are not refused by anyone."
Years rolled past, but no decision was taken. Each felt that his religion was the best, but none of the others agreed.
One day a traveling saint arrived in the kingdom. Upon learning about the king's unfulfilled desire, he immediately went up to the king and said "O! Mighty one! I am willing to show you the religion whose teachings nobody can refute."
The king was delighted. At last after long years of waiting an answer was at hand. "Please tell me soon my dear saint. I am impatient. I have waited for many long years." The saint replied "Be patient my king. I shall reveal the name of this religion to you, only at a quiet, secluded spot. Tomorrow at twelve noon, I shall be waiting for you near the banks of the holy River Ganga. We shall go across to the opposite shore and then I will reveal the best religion."
As decided, the saint and the king met at 12 noon the next day. The king ordered a boat to take them across the river. Immediately a boat was brought. Before the king could step inside, the saint expressed the desire to inspect the boat. "No this boat will not do as one wooden plank at the bottom of the boat is loose," he complained.
Another boat was brought. After close inspection, the saint observed that a few nails were missing along the side of the boat. The king ordered another boat to be brought. After close scrutiny, the saint rejected the boat saying that the paint was chipped. This was repeated many tunes over and over again. The king was slowly loosing his patience and could not stand it any longer
"Respected sir!" he said, "For the past so many hours you have been inspecting one boat after another. You have rejected each one of them. After all, what does it matter whether the paint is chipped or a few nails are missing or a plank is loose? As long as the boat is capable of taking us across the river, I feel that these minor faults should be overlooked."
The saint turned towards the king and smiled. Softly he explained "You have finally discovered that no boat is incapable of taking us across. The religions prevalent in our land are like the boats. Each one of them is capable of taking you to the Lord. To find faults in each other's faith is mere foolishness. Go back to your kingdom and continue to rule wisely, giving each religion as much respect as your own. Live in unity."
The king fell at the saint's feet. When he got up again, he felt himself richer - richer in knowledge and in wisdom, and better able to understand God's plan.
Years rolled past, but no decision was taken. Each felt that his religion was the best, but none of the others agreed.
One day a traveling saint arrived in the kingdom. Upon learning about the king's unfulfilled desire, he immediately went up to the king and said "O! Mighty one! I am willing to show you the religion whose teachings nobody can refute."
The king was delighted. At last after long years of waiting an answer was at hand. "Please tell me soon my dear saint. I am impatient. I have waited for many long years." The saint replied "Be patient my king. I shall reveal the name of this religion to you, only at a quiet, secluded spot. Tomorrow at twelve noon, I shall be waiting for you near the banks of the holy River Ganga. We shall go across to the opposite shore and then I will reveal the best religion."
As decided, the saint and the king met at 12 noon the next day. The king ordered a boat to take them across the river. Immediately a boat was brought. Before the king could step inside, the saint expressed the desire to inspect the boat. "No this boat will not do as one wooden plank at the bottom of the boat is loose," he complained.
Another boat was brought. After close inspection, the saint observed that a few nails were missing along the side of the boat. The king ordered another boat to be brought. After close scrutiny, the saint rejected the boat saying that the paint was chipped. This was repeated many tunes over and over again. The king was slowly loosing his patience and could not stand it any longer
"Respected sir!" he said, "For the past so many hours you have been inspecting one boat after another. You have rejected each one of them. After all, what does it matter whether the paint is chipped or a few nails are missing or a plank is loose? As long as the boat is capable of taking us across the river, I feel that these minor faults should be overlooked."
The saint turned towards the king and smiled. Softly he explained "You have finally discovered that no boat is incapable of taking us across. The religions prevalent in our land are like the boats. Each one of them is capable of taking you to the Lord. To find faults in each other's faith is mere foolishness. Go back to your kingdom and continue to rule wisely, giving each religion as much respect as your own. Live in unity."
The king fell at the saint's feet. When he got up again, he felt himself richer - richer in knowledge and in wisdom, and better able to understand God's plan.
Lady Finger to Treat Diabetes
Please note that another name for Lady Finger (Bhindi ) is OKRA.
Last month in one of TV program I learnt of a treatment of Sugar (Diabetes). Since I am diabetic, I tried it and it was very useful and my sugar is in control now. In fact I have already reduced my medicine.
Take two pieces of Lady Finger (Bhindi) and remove/cut both ends of each piece. Also put a small cut in the middle and put these two pieces in
glass of water. Cover the glass and keep it at room temperature during night. Early morning, before breakfast simply remove two pieces of lady
finger (bhindi) from the glass and drink that water.
Keep doing it on daily basis.
Within two weeks, you will see remarkable results in reduction of your SUGAR.
My sister has got rid of her diabetes. She was on Insulin for a few years, but after taking the lady fingers every morning for a few months,
she has stopped Insulin but continues to take the lady fingers every day. But she chops the lady fingers into fine pieces in the night, adds
the water and drinks it all up the next morning. Please. try it as it will not do you any harm even if it does not do much good to you, but U
have to keep taking it for a few months before U see results, as most cases might be chronic.
Last month in one of TV program I learnt of a treatment of Sugar (Diabetes). Since I am diabetic, I tried it and it was very useful and my sugar is in control now. In fact I have already reduced my medicine.
Take two pieces of Lady Finger (Bhindi) and remove/cut both ends of each piece. Also put a small cut in the middle and put these two pieces in
glass of water. Cover the glass and keep it at room temperature during night. Early morning, before breakfast simply remove two pieces of lady
finger (bhindi) from the glass and drink that water.
Keep doing it on daily basis.
Within two weeks, you will see remarkable results in reduction of your SUGAR.
My sister has got rid of her diabetes. She was on Insulin for a few years, but after taking the lady fingers every morning for a few months,
she has stopped Insulin but continues to take the lady fingers every day. But she chops the lady fingers into fine pieces in the night, adds
the water and drinks it all up the next morning. Please. try it as it will not do you any harm even if it does not do much good to you, but U
have to keep taking it for a few months before U see results, as most cases might be chronic.
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