Editor's note: Someone forwarded this to me. I am so touched, and I believe you will too. Enjoy...
Dear All,
It is good story to share with my friends!
How much can love be?
This is the most touching and inspiring video ever...
One day, a son asks his dad "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?"
The father says "yes". And they run their first marathon together.
Another time, the son asks his dad again "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?
The father says "yes son".
One day, the son asks his father "Daddy, would you run the Ironman with me?"
The Ironman is the most difficult triathlon ever (4 km swimming, 180 km biking, 42 km running?)
And the dad says "yes".
The story looks simple until you watch the following clip.
Just amazing, how much can love be....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Church bulletin bloopers
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell ?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell ?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
Why you must learn English!
The only reason someone would wear such a T-shirt, especially during prayers is because
he doesn't know a word of English... not even that word?
Management Course
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll
give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and
risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown
to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears,
he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the
flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you
will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I
want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want
to be in Hawaii ,20 relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,
an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in
the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy..
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's
best to keep your mouth shut!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll
give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and
risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown
to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears,
he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the
flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you
will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I
want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want
to be in Hawaii ,20 relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,
an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in
the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy..
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's
best to keep your mouth shut!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
8 Toxic personalities to avoid
Reprinted from the Yahoo! site.
Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
- Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
- Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
- Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
- Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
- Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
- Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
- Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
- Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
Monday, May 11, 2009
Boat Story!
They say the two happiest days in life are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell it!!
Well, here's a good BOAT story!!
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-starters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unknown to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.
A kind old neighbor woman mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible." Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway.. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"
The old woman fainted.
Well, here's a good BOAT story!!
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-starters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unknown to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.
A kind old neighbor woman mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible." Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway.. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"
The old woman fainted.
Proper Grammar
On my 66th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the medicine man and wondered what would happen next.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3. 'When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
I was encouraged.. As I walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
I was very eager to see if it worked so I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, I was the manliest of men. My wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition!
ONE COULD END UP WITH A DANGLING PARTICIPLE!!
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3. 'When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
I was encouraged.. As I walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
I was very eager to see if it worked so I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, I was the manliest of men. My wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition!
ONE COULD END UP WITH A DANGLING PARTICIPLE!!
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