Saturday, May 30, 2009

How much can love be?

Editor's note: Someone forwarded this to me. I am so touched, and I believe you will too. Enjoy...

Dear All,
It is good story to share with my friends!
How much can love be?

This is the most touching and inspiring video ever...

One day, a son asks his dad "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?"

The father says "yes". And they run their first marathon together.

Another time, the son asks his dad again "Daddy, would you like to run a marathon with me?
The father says "yes son".

One day, the son asks his father "Daddy, would you run the Ironman with me?"
The Ironman is the most difficult triathlon ever (4 km swimming, 180 km biking, 42 km running?)
And the dad says "yes".

The story looks simple until you watch the following clip.
Just amazing, how much can love be....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY

Church bulletin bloopers

--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell ?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Why you must learn English!

The only reason someone would wear such a T-shirt, especially during prayers is because

he doesn't know a word of English... not even that word?

Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll
give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and
risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown
to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears,
he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the
flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you
will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I
want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want
to be in Hawaii ,20 relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,
an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in
the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy..

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's
best to keep your mouth shut!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

8 Toxic personalities to avoid

Reprinted from the Yahoo! site.

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Boat Story!

They say the two happiest days in life are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell it!!

Well, here's a good BOAT story!!

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-starters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.

Unknown to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.

A kind old neighbor woman mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible." Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway.. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"

The old woman fainted.

Proper Grammar

On my 66th birthday, I got a gift certificate from my wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, I drove to the reservation, handed my ticket to the medicine man and wondered what would happen next.

The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to me, and with a grip on my shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3. 'When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

I was encouraged.. As I walked away, I turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded. "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

I was very eager to see if it worked so I went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited my wife to join me in the bedroom. When she came in, I took off my clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, I was the manliest of men. My wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes. And then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition!

ONE COULD END UP WITH A DANGLING PARTICIPLE!!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

What starts with f and ends in k

Editor's note: Be forewarned - This joke is full of innuendos.

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,
'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'
The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry:'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'
Harry: 'Coconut.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog
does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Genie

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the
window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll
haveapologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw
the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken
antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke
my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
I'm a g enie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three
wishes. I'll Give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll
keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and
blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my
life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can
do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd
like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be
safe from fire,burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

" Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with
a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your
wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mul! led it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.

"I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs
where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The
genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and
looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you
still believe in genies?"

Why Chinese should not have Christian names

Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty

Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long

Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings

Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before

Handling the heat

Editor's note: This article was originally published in TheStarOnline.com.my website.

A YOUNG woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each over a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first one, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last, oolong tea. She let the pots sit and boil without saying a word.

About twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners. She fished out the carrots and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she poured the oolong tea into a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”

“Carrots, eggs and oolong tea,” the daughter replied.

Her mother beckoned her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she looked at the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted the tea’s rich aroma, then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting in the boiling water, its inside hardened.

The oolong tea was unique, however. After the leaves had been in the boiling water, they had changed the colour and taste of the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or oolong tea? Think of this: Which am I?

“Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

“Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

“Or am I like the oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases its fragrance and flavour. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?”

Are you a carrot, an egg or oolong tea?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Farmer's Donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

NOW --------

Enough of that crap ...

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had
tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer
eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass,
it always comes back to bite you.

English

The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it economically when communicating their intentions. Compare these phrases that Malaysians and Britons use to say the same thing: So, why make things so confusing and waste of money when you are on a long distance call. Make it snappy.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kews (Excuse)

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (while pointing at door) Can or not?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Doe-waaaan! (don't want)

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shaddap lah! (Shut up lah)

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Why like that???? (jumping to conclusion)

Mindful of the heart

Editor's note: This article was originally published in The Star Online.

Mindful of the heart

By LIM WEY WEN

Our state of mind matters more to the health of our hearts than we may think.

THE list of risk factors for heart disease emailed to me by senior consultant psychiatrist Prof Ainsah Omar looked run-of-the-mill, but for two factors: “Type A personality, and stress”.

Until recently, the effects of these two as risk factors for heart disease have been mostly observational and retrospective. Building a good support system can also go a long way in helping you handle stress better.

In the Los Angeles earthquake in 1994, half of all immediate deaths were found to be due to cardiac arrests – five times greater than a usual day.

Soon after, many other incidents indicated that physical and emotional triggers, such as environmental disasters and vigorous physical exercise (particularly in those who are already at risk), can precipitate heart attacks.

Two years ago, a landmark global study – the INTERHEART study – managed to provide us with some numbers.

Using questionnaires, researchers compared 15,152 cases of heart attacks to 14,820 controls in 52 countries to find out if risk factors for heart attacks impact people of different races or from countries differently.

One notable finding was that psychosocial risk factors were more common amongst those who had heart attacks. You can reduce stress levels by just making the effort to laugh.

From the study findings, it was estimated that if psychosocial risk factors alone (including stress and depression) were eliminated, 32.5% of heart attacks could be prevented.

The same study estimated that eliminating lifetime smoking alone would reduce heart attacks by 35.7%. Eliminating hypertension would reduce heart attacks by 17.9% and eliminating obesity would reduce the incidence by 20.0%.

Who knew preventing a heart attack could also be just one positive thought, or therapist, away?

Type As and stress

You really can’t miss a Type A if you come across one. They are highly-strung, competitive, impatient, brash and sometimes rude.

And you can see why they are stressed out. Their workaholic tendencies take a toll on their health and their constant pursuit of perfection often leads to disappointments.

As Jeanie Lerche Davis wrote in the medical information website WebMD, “The classic Type A personality – competitive, impatient, uptight – is a heart attack waiting to happen. And that heart attack will likely happen sooner rather than later.”

A little stress is actually good for you. It helps you stay energetic, motivated and alert. In emergencies, stress also prepares you to respond adequately to danger, protecting you from harm.

But when stress levels remain high or when an individual fails to adapt to the stress, the stress response systems in the body will be continuously activated, resulting in persistent high levels of stress hormones and elevation of blood pressure, heart rate and contractility (the contraction of heart muscles), says Prof Ainsah, who is also the Deputy Dean of Research and Postgraduate Studies at the Faculty of Medicine, Universiti Teknologi Mara (UiTM).

“These will be detrimental to the heart,” she adds.

Stress pulls the trigger

The role of stress in heart attacks can generally be described with this analogy: your diet, lifestyle or genetic tendencies to get a heart attack loads the gun, and stress pulls the trigger.

Although it does not directly cause the onset of a heart attack the way a sudden blockage or narrowing of the heart arteries does, it sets the stage for them to happen.

First of all, stress is associated with some behaviours that increase a person’s risk of heart attacks.

Psychological stress is one of the important factors associated with smoking. Some eat excessively to cope with stress and negative emotions, leading to obesity – an important risk factor not only for heart disease, but also for a myriad of other diseases.

Secondly, stress involves biological changes within our body where stress hormones and biochemicals that can trigger increased blood pressure and heart rate are released.

“(Stress) can also increase lipid and triglyceride levels which cause hyperlipidaemia and increases the risk of developing heart disease,” Prof Ainsah says.

Besides, UK researchers have also found evidence that stress can trigger the release of high levels of clot-forming platelets – little cell fragments that can form clots in the coronary arteries.

Dealing with stress

We should take note that stress is not equivalent to stressful situations. While stressful situations may give rise to stress, your response to these situations partly determines your stress levels and how much they affect you.

“Personality determines how one reacts to stressful situations,” Prof Ainsah says.

Take Type A personalities as an example. Besides being aggressive, highly motivated and competitive, people who carry the trait are also easily worried, anxious and unable to express their anger and dissatisfaction frankly.

“If you are a person with Type A personality, you need to modify your attitude and avoid (being) extremely perfectionist,” Prof Ainsah advises.

It is alright to set high expectations, but one should be able to accept failures if the expectations are not met, she adds.

Workaholics, she says, should also ensure they have adequate time for rest and recreational activities.

Even with increasing evidence that stress does have a role to play in heart attacks, stress reduction has yet to be endorsed as a specific recommendation to prevent heart attacks.

The American Heart Association (AHA), in its short write-up on stress and heart attacks, says current data don’t yet support specific recommendations about stress reduction as a proven therapy for cardiovascular disease.

The variation of stressors and the way they affect people contribute to the difficulty in designing studies to evaluate the effects of stress and the efficiency of stress reduction in preventing heart attacks.

Of those that have been carried out, the AHA says that studies using psychosocial therapies to prevent second heart attacks are promising and people who feel depressed, anxious or overwhelmed by stress after a heart attack or stroke should talk to their doctor or other healthcare professional.

Or, you could try to laugh more often.

“Research has demonstrated that laughter reduces stress through various mechanisms,” Prof Ainsah says.

Laughter reduces stress by reducing levels of stress hormones (cortisol, noradrenaline) and releases anti-stress biochemicals such as endorphins.

On top of reducing blood pressure and pulse rates that were raised during stress, the reduction of stress hormones also allows the immune system to function properly.

Anti-stress biochemicals like endorphins, on the other hand, can elevate people’s moods and make them perceive less stress.

If you’re not sure you could lighten up your mood alone, surround yourself with happy people because just like laughter, moods are contagious too. Building a good support system can also go a long way in helping you handle stress better.

“Every one of us is bound to face stress, especially in the modern, challenging world,” Prof Ainsah says.

“We may not be able to control our life stressors, but we can change the way we perceive stress.”

Indeed, a positive state of mind could be your ticket to a healthy heart too.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Drop your bra

Editor's note: This article has not been vetted but the arguments seem logical. But then, I am not an oncologist. Again it could be propagated by the same guy who announced free mammogram tests by asking the women to stand by opened windows for a high-tech satellite to scan over their exposed breasts.

Tell your wife or girlfriends. ... if you have more than one. Bra business will go out of business if we seriously sent this out to all the females.

Do you wear bra for the whole day and even at home? - You should read this article.

Do you wear bra for the whole day and even at home? I think we should go bra-free after reading this article. It's a message for your health. Please pass this to all female friends you know. I think it's important to be aware of the following facts...

For years, a lot of articles with regards to the causes of breast cancer point to an unhealthy diet and lack of exercise as the major links to this disease which happens to be the biggest killer among women during these last two decades.

These studies would have been most credible if it were not for the fact that several women including Linda McCartney who have been religious vegetarians and exercise- freaks have also been unfortunate in suffering breast cancer.

Perhaps the most convincing article I have ever read with regards to this matter is one which links breast cancer to the wearing of bras. In the "Bra and Breast Cancer Study" in the United States , It was discovered that women with breast cancer had a history of sporting tighter and longer bra-wearing than did the women who had not (yet) developed the disease.

In fact, virtually the entire cancer group wore bras over 12 hours. When a woman wears a tight bra, she subjects her breasts to pressure, closing off the lymphatic pathway from the breast to the nodes. This causes fluid built-up swelling, tenderness and cyst formation. Toxins must be flushed out via the lymphatic. However, a bra-constricted breast cannot adequately perform this cleansing process, resulting in toxin accumulation in the breast...

Truthfully, bras are creating droopy, weak breasts..... .the breast relies on the bras for artificial support; the body loses its ability to support the breast by itself. This is why many women feel uncomfortable without the bra.

What is the solution to breast cancer then? DON'T WEAR A TIGHT BRA! And maybe sleep without them.

There is a remarkable success rate for recovery from fibrocystic breast disease within 10 days to two weeks of going bra-free. Many women have tried going bra-less and recorded a miraculous improvement in their health! Bra burning is no longer a feminist issue....It is now a battle between life and death. We should make others more aware of the hazards of wearing them......

.... Please pass this to every female you know

Peter and Carol Lamm tied their wedding knot

Editor's note: Some of you might remember our friends Peter Lamm and his girlfriend, Carol. They finally got married in Singapore - Carol's home country. So it does prove that long-distance Internet romance does work! Check out their simple wedding photos here.

Baby Samantha

Lina and Matt Buchanan just have a new addition to their family. Her name is Samantha.

http://samanthababypictures.shutterfly.com/

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

You might live in Minnesota

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota :

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the
national news 96 nights
each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
You m ight live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
You might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say....Wayzata. ..Mahtomedi ... Cloquet
Edina... and Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota.

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know several people, who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you can drive 65 mph through
2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching,
Y ou might live in Minnesota..

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows
how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota.

If There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm
at any given time,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you design your kid's Halloween
costume to fit over a
snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you can identify a
southern or eastern accent,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next
to your blue spruce,
You might live in Minnesota.

If "Down South" to you means Iowa,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know "a brat" is something
you eat,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you find -10 degrees "a little chilly",
You might
live in Minnesota.

If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends,

You DO live in Minnesota.